Changing your last name

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For my whole life I assumed I would change my last name. The main argument was always to have the same last name as my kids.

A couple weeks before our wedding, our (amazing, flawless) officiant asked how he should address Tim and me at the conclusion of the ceremony. The thought of it gave me the stress sweats. It didn’t sound like me. I’ve been Amanda Delzell for a long time. But I also had it in my mind that I was going to change my name. So I insisted over and over that he simply announce us as “Amanda and Tim.”

I was never one of those daydreamers who doodled her name with the last name of whatever boy she had a crush on. Maybe that would have helped me for this moment. When Tim and I picked up our marriage certificate, I assumed that I couldn’t put my new last name on the certificate because I had flights booked for our honeymoon and I didn’t want a legal change in my name because I wouldn’t be able to get on the flight. But at the office (of…marriage licensing? what is the name?) the person who helped us get our certificate said that I could put my new last name and then legally change it later. So I decided to do it, and possibly never legally change my name.

Well, I still haven’t legally changed my name. But I have tried on my new last name by adding it to my social media and email accounts. But when making appointments, I still use my old name. I introduce myself that way. I don’t really know why. It feels inauthentic still to call myself anything but “Amanda Delzell.” And I think I’ll probably come around by the time ~fAmiLy PLaNniNg~ begins. But I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I’m just not comfortable with it yet, and that’s OK. My cute guy husband is super supportive and doesn’t mind what I do.

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I found out later that a couple friends couldn’t remember Tim’s last name at our wedding, and they said, “We’ll find out at the end of the ceremony!” Of course, they didn’t. But it doesn’t really matter what my (or his) name is. We still got married, we’re still planning to spend our lives together, and I don’t need to have the same last name right away.

I could talk about this endlessly. Please, please share your experience in changing your name!

3 thoughts on “Changing your last name

  1. I’m waiting for a proposal from the esteemed Mr. HugAndKiss… Then and only then would this decision be straightforward 😁

  2. I am struggling with this! Fondren feels like such a part of my identity. I feel as if I am such a FONDREN. It was always joked about growing up how I had traits of that side of the family. I hated the name growing up though and always imagined I’d change it as soon as I could, especially to a great name like Owens. But now as I look towards becoming an Owens and not a Fondren my heart is torn. I think legally I am going to stay Kelly Michelle Fondren Owens (what a mouthful) yet typically go by Kelly Owens. That way I can still hold on to that part of my identity and grow into my new one as part of our new little family. I know that even though my name may change I will always be a Fondren, but I want to keep it official I think.

    1. Yes! I wish I had thought about keeping both names before I filled out my marriage certificate. It’s still not legal but if I did “Amanda Marie Delzell Treese” legally, them I’d have to get a new marriage cert. It’s probably not smart to choose a whole identity over a small administrative inconvenience though haha.

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